| Back for good...hopefully... |
[Nov. 20th, 2007|10:07 pm] |
I just realized that I have been absent from blogsphere for more than a year. Ok ok, understatement.
I know I have been absent, and should not have been so lazy... :(
Well, let me tell you the reasons of my absence. I will list below without any order of importance.
1. I am in the cusp of a life-changing experience, both professionally and personally. Though not yet a tryst with destiny, I am trying very hard to change my life around.
2. I have discovered enlightenment, in an extremely metaphorical sense.
3. I dived into the sea and could not resurface due being utterly consumed by the sublime beauty that lies underneath.
Alright, if you have no idea what I am writing, please be informed that this is deliberate.
I do not like proclaiming my private life in public. I do not like informing anyone about anything until it becomes concrete reality. I do not want to be a blog whore.
This is the best I can give you.
But when my life comes more and more into order, I will update you on it.
PROMISE!! |
|
|
| The Illusion of the Internet |
[Jun. 26th, 2006|11:02 pm] |
The Illusion of the Internet
By Raymond Woo
The undisputed truth is that information technology is making the world smaller and distances closer. But does it make different nations, cultures and religions closer? Or rather, is this kind of globalization actually driving apart the different peoples of the world, and contributing to disharmony, conflict and even violence?
Take a look at the recent global protests by Muslims against the allegedly blasphemous cartoons against Prophet Muhammad. What started as a series of anti-Muslim cartoons in a small far-right Danish newspaper soon exploded onto the face of “civilized Europe” in the midst of Muslim hatred. But strangely, the troubles didn’t start until a few months after the incident, whereby a group of Danish imams launched a campaign on the Internet to discredit the cartoons. Their message, which then spread like wildfire throughout the global ummah and which contained truths, half-truths and sometimes downright lies (like an alleged blasphemous picture which was actually that of a bearded Frenchman in a pig-dressing competition), rekindled existing Muslim discontent, and many lives and property were lost unnecessarily because of this.
How about the current diplomatic stalemate between China and Japan? In fact, China and Japan would like to, and would be beneficial for both countries to improve ties due to their close and burgeoning economic relationship. But this dilettante is limited by lingering suspicions and hatred among the grassroots, in particular the very vibrant Internet chatroom community in China. If one were to read their chatrooms about Japan, very frequently one will find xenophobic, racist and extremely hateful speech, some even calling for the nuclear bombing of Japan and the starting of World War 3. One can argue that these hateful messages might just represent a small but vocal minority. But again, looking at these chatrooms, you seldom find rational arguments that condemn such hateful speech, for most probably people might be scared of being under attack from these vocal groups, or even threatened by them, and being labeled a traitor and a running dog in regard to relations with “The Other”. However, through the Internet, much of this propaganda spread outside of China to other parts of the Chinese-speaking world, and thus you rarely find a Chinese person not sympathetic to it.
People of conviction and reason might not have the guts to challenge the surrounding rise of fascism and xenophobia. Whenever an Israeli calls for decent treatment of the Palestinian people and withdrawal from the West Bank, he is labeled a traitor. Whenever a Chinese calls for better relations with Japan, he might be called a running dog and even receive death threats. When a Muslim suggests that certain traditions of his religion be examined in regard to relations with the secular world, he might be threatened or even killed (which happened to many “liberal Muslims”, most famous of all the fatwa by the late Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran which called for the death of British writer Salman Rushdie). Irregardless of location, the same treatment might apply to a Jewish American, a Chinese Malaysian or a Muslim living in the United Kingdom.
Things like these have happened ever since the dawn of human history. Tyranny of the majority is very much a part of human nature, and even in the United States where its Constitution is explicitly against this kind of tyranny, the mob lynching of blacks continued until the mid-20th century.
But there is a difference with the arrival of globalization. Whereas once a person can simply escape the place in which he was being persecuted, and run away to another place for good, never to return or have contact with his former place again, he can also educate his children and his future generations on his convictions against narrow-mindedness and the persecution of others. In short, immigration to other countries was a one-way street, where immigrants get absorbed into the local population, accept its national ideology willingly and live in harmony without much problem with the surrounding community.
However, people are easily influenced, especially by people of the same culture or religion. The first generation that migrated in the first place might not be so susceptible, for they might have experienced first-hand bigotry and violence. But their children might get influenced. Instead of integrating with the local population, they can simply read material from their home countries, or from people of the same religion and culture. They might read propaganda that might not be suitable in a new country where they are a minority. With chatrooms, they can communicate with their community brethren who might have dangerous ideas easily. Worse still, when it is hate propaganda against other ethnic/religious groups, conflict might occur even when the perpetrators are themselves a minority in a country where their forefathers have migrated to.
The truth is, globalization does indeed make people closer, but only people with the same language, culture and/or religion. People tend to stick with their own kind, even if they do not share their thinking, for they feel comfortable among those who are similar. A Muslim in the UK, for example, might have more in common with a Muslim in Lebanon that his white British neighbor. Even though they might not even share the same language or life experiences, but they share the same religion and pray 5 times a day. Likewise, disturbingly among Malaysians, a Chinese-Malaysian tend to have more in common with another Chinese from other countries and thus might be more sympathetic to their beliefs, compared with other Malay or Indian Malaysians. Don’t look at whether they speak the same language or have similar experiences or not. But both share the same ethnic Chinese identity and have cultural similarities. And this rapid congregating of people of the same culture or religion living in different parts of the world is only possible with the Internet. As such, it makes it easier to speak with another ethnic or religion brethren from across the globe, than to walk out of the house, knock on your neighbor’s door of another culture/religion and say hello.
Samuel Huntington’s thesis of the imminent clash of civilizations has been criticized because various “civilizations” overlap, especially if people of different backgrounds live next to each other. But that assumes by living together, they can get along together too. That is increasingly becoming a fallacy with the advent of globalization.
And when people of the same background group together, it makes integration more difficult, not easier. And when people begin to form homogenous tribes scattered around the world but linked through the Internet, radical and xenophobic ideas might emerge more easily than it is within a multiracial group.
And since different groups live with each other, a kind of siege mentality builds in. It is always “us” versus “the Other”. It might explain why Jewish-Muslim bad blood (from Palestine/Israel to the US to Europe) became globalized, even in places not linked in any way to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. It might explain why some Chinese Americans still hate the Japanese even when they are 2nd or 3rd generation Americans who may be living with Japanese Americans. Don’t forget that the 9/11 terrorist incident was planned by people living in different places around the world via the Internet. From the Internet come the good, the bad and the ugly. Sometimes, ugly enough to influence certain people and cause havoc.
We shouldn’t limit the Internet. In fact, nobody should be left behind when it comes to gaining knowledge, and the Internet is one of the best agents. But let’s not fool ourselves by believing that the Internet has no flaws and can indeed create a peaceful human society in a world ridden by age-old ethnic and religious hatred, conflict and suspicion. Indeed, the Internet merely makes it easier for these problems to fester and explode. |
|
|
| Orbituary: Rest in Peace, Mr. MGG Pillai |
[Apr. 28th, 2006|06:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
MGG Pillai, the doyen of Malaysian journalism, died this morning.
Rest in peace.
I`ve always loved your writings, for you have inspired a whole new generation of Malaysian writers who are just begining to exert their presence in our beloved country. |
|
|
| The Perils to Democracy, Part 1 |
[Apr. 1st, 2006|04:18 pm] |
The Perils To Democracy (Part 1)
These are indeed interesting times. Have you ever seen a time of contradiction as blatant as this? People willing to go to war and sacrifice their lives over `democracy`, yet denouncing the very result of democracy after that. Or people using the excuse of democratic right for anything they do, yet quiver when their enemies use precisely this term in condoning actions determental to their interest.
We have never been as confused as this over this explosive word, What exactly is democracy? Is democracy and the free market synonymous? Are democracy and human rights different sides of the same coin? What if democracy itself becomes threatening to these values which the Western world and many others hold true?
Democracy, as defined by the Greeks who basically invented this word, means `the rule (kracy) of the common people (demos)`. We can categorize simply, democracy into 3 groups: direct democracy, whereby people can directly vote on government decisions, such as in the case of a referendum or in the ancient Greek city-states; representative democracy, whereby elected representatives represent their voters in a legislative body and is the most common form of government in our world today; and liberal democracy whereby the elected representatives are bound by checks and balances like the rule of law and the seperation of powers (as opposed to `illiberal democracy` like Malaysia and Singapore where the elected government are not bound tightly by these).
And now, why do I say that this very controversial and much-fought over word has a very muddled and elusive meaning? Remember, even despotic Communist countries had the word `democratic` in their official names, like the Democratic Republic of Kampuchea, or the People`s Democratic Republic of Korea (North Korea). Even Adolf Hitler championed the people as part of democracy, and no matter what we can say, he did come to power in the context of a true and liberal democratic system. And now, the only superpower left in the world, the United States of America has put this word forth as a reason (or excuse) and as a banner to `liberate` people from different parts of the world through many means such as sanctions and wars.
Isn`t it interesting how the Iraq War started as a war to stop Saddam Hussein from acquiring weapons of mass destruction, but has become a war of liberation and for the democratisation of Iraq? All these despite the fact that the US itself admitted not having found any such weapons. All these despite the fact that thousands have died and many thousands more will perish in this uprooting and upheaval of Iraqi society as the very result of this `war for democracy`.
But wait a minute, doesn`t the word `democracy` mean rule by the common people? So did the common Iraqi people want this war in the first place? And why is the US so jittery when the people themself voted in religious parties and therefore cautioned their `threat to democracy`? How about blatantly ignoring the Palestinian people democratically-elected government by withholding aid and taxes (paid by the Palestinian people, thank you) due to the new Hamas-led government?
We accept that there can not be `true` democracy, i.e. anybody can run the country, or there will be chaos. A representative democracy are in its essense elite, for a small group of people elected to run the country. Democracy is merely a fair and equitable way of reflecting the common people`s voices in running the affairs of the state, But, can it become a reason for crusade, such as the `wars for democracy and against terrorism` that have come to characterise the start of the 21st century? As Micheal Moore put it succinctly, you can`t wage war for or against a noun.
Even then, can this very basic democratic right of elections be ignored if the very results of it is detrimental to your interest? Having failed in their search for weapons of mass destruction, the above-said powers have used the word `democracy` as a tool for mass delusion. It has been basically reduced to words like `righteous`, `Christian` or `Islamic`, `the people` and so on, only as a tool for political persuasion and totally devoid of its real meaning.
Democracy as a word with meaning in itself has gone to the dogs, thanks to our `defenders of democracy`.
Basically, not many are really interested in the welfare of the common people, much less rule by them. The truth is, rule of any country has been by the elite, whether business or political. Even in the ancient Greek cities, elections were confined to the land-owning elite. In Communist countries, despite abusing the words `people`, `democratic` etc, were of course despotic and led by a small group of elite people. In the United States of America, an average Joe from Smalltown, USA might technically be eligible to run for President, the reality is totally different if you care to speak to any average Joe. Even a white President was opposed merely because of his Catholic faith (John F. Kennedy), for Catholics were barred from the US Protestant elite at that time.
There is no real rule of the common people anywhere in the world today. Indeed, democracy is merely a tool to use to delude the common people into supporting these elites to ensure that their rule is perpetual.
However, even though democracy is just a mirage and a dream, doesn`t mean that it`s not a beautiful dream worth pursuing. And I don`t mean waging wars and putting the lives of innocents in danger to force democracy, but to help build an environment favourable to democracy by giving out more education scholarships to foreign countries, more respect for and more communication with people from different faiths and ethnicities, more aid for infrastucture, and so on. You don`t exactly win over a people to your cause by bombing their country, no matter how much they hate their ruling despot.
As such, we shouldn`t delude ourselves over `democracy`. It is merely a system of governance. People`s lives needn`t be sacrificed, and certainly the elite interests shouldn`t overrule the real aspirations of the people. If an administration thought of as `crazy` by the West comes to power through democratic means, so be it. Deal with it as a representative of the people through a system you championed in the first place.
If we care enough to dream and to fight for this dream, real democracy would mean what it actually is; a real reflection of our voices, not just `certain` voices within the limits of the tolerance of the elite. |
|
|
| The mountain |
[Mar. 3rd, 2006|10:33 pm] |
The mountain almost seemed to glow against the rays of dawn. Mist covered its upper-half, and none standing below this great monolith could see its face. Some say monsters lurked on its summit, and around the caves that pocked the sheer stone face of the mountain. Some say holy men would astral-travel to the very top on which they would find a place of sanctuary to meditate in prayer.
However, most of us ordinary humans were merely ignorant and thus, fearful on what lurks on this mountain. We fear what we do not know.
The mountain was majestic, standing high over the flat plains. The plains were familiar places of economic and agricultural activity; farmers tending their fields, and bullock-carts galloping with produce to the marketplace at the behest of the riders who would whip their beasts furiously to make it go faster. The mountain, however, was a place unknown; a terra incognito of sorts. Apart from the mist, forests and its stone face, nothing much was known about it.
It is whatever the plains weren’t: unfamiliar, forbidding, cold and lonely.
Not many had dared to venture into this forbidden territory. There were houses made of wood and attap at the foothills, a little away from the hot and humid plains of padi fields, but no one lived beyond the bamboo forests that ringed this huge mountain. People hear of strange noises emanating from the mountain at night: stories of tigers, magicians, ape-men abound. The further you go up the summit, the chillier it gets. People and scenes of familiarity you will leave behind, to venture into this mountain of inscrutability.
But then, what people in the plains find forbidding and lonely, I think of it as a sanctuary, a place of liberation for the soul. When you tire of people and their all-too-familiar behavior, you have to retire to a people-less sanctuary for a while, as a wise man once told me.
It is ironic that a fearful place could become a place of freedom in the same context.
I longed to climb this mountain, to escape the hot and humid plains of the familiar and the safe, in search of something strange and new.
I need to liberate my soul, away from the hum-drum of humanity.
Therefore, I will take up the challenge to climb this lonely mountain to find myself once more. |
|
|
| Reflections on cartoons and the subsequent burnings |
[Feb. 14th, 2006|03:57 am] |
Some say that the freedom of `expression` is supreme. Others say that the freedom FROM this kind of `expression` is supreme.
Some say that the right to satirise religions and break taboos is freedom. Others say that respect for one`s religion and taboos IS freedom.
Some say that one shouldn`t apologise for something he/she deeply believes in. Others say that one SHOULD apologize because it is thought that he/she insulted something which others deeply believe in.
Some say that the other party is corrupted, fanatic and crazy. Others say that the party WHICH IS criticising the other as corrupted, fanatic and crazy is itself corrupted, fanatic and crazy.
Some say that it`s just about a bunch of cartoons, so just forget it and go to hell. Others say that it`s not just a bunch of cartoons, but a form of blasphemy and a violation of human rights, and that THEY (the other party) should just shut up and go to hell.
And right now...
Flags are being burnt, embassies ransacked, diplomats withdrawn, cookies and dairy products boycotted.
I won`t go into the details, nor would I openly side with any group.
It`s just interesting to see the contrasting, almost binary divide between 2 groups of people. And no, I wouldn`t categorise them either, for human `categories` are constantly shifting and moving and ambiguous, and the issue which side started first, or that who had the moral advantage, basically who is right and who is wrong is important. Indeed, both can be right and both can be wrong.
It is the sheer stupidity of these protests, counter-protests and counter-counter protests that are sickening. We all have differences in opinion and values, but it is imperative for EVERYTHING to be resolved through reasoning and negotiation, not violence or even boycotts (pity the poor dairy farmer). It is pretty unusual for public opinion to be so binary and contrasting, but it is nevertheless the the RADICALISATION of public opinion itself as a result from violent actions, angry speeches, defensive and lame arguments and so on. So whatever middle ground that remains are fast dissapearing, shrinking into the two extreme poles of opinion, thereby endangering any goodwill that is left.
We all need to cool our heads, have a cup of tea and just start talking. Not dig trenches and seize any advantage for oneself to spite the other`s argument.
For God`s sake, just listen to what the other person has to say first!!! |
|
|
| Entering into a brave new era 2 |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|01:15 am] |
As the old adage goes, “familiarity breeds contempt”.
How true it rings today in the age of globalization, a phenomenon no one can escape from. The McDonald’s signboards we see everyday, the expensive Starbucks coffee in paper cups we drink frequently, are all embedded not only in the everyday environment around us, but also deep within our consciousness.
What if suddenly comes a day where there are no longer any more Big Macs in the world? No Intel computers to use? No more Coca-Cola?
Now that would be unthinkable right? The thought itself is almost as inconceivable as the thought of Atlantis rising up from the sea again.
But doesn’t it show the extent our consciousness has been controlled by these global corporations? Their presence is clearly inescapable. We have been brought up on a diet of American-style fast food, soft drinks, MTV and what-not. We have come to regard these global brands as the ideal of cool, of sophistication, its image worthy enough to be attained with all its glorious trappings?
If so, why did I raise the old adage in the beginning of this article then?
Even now, Korean farmers, NGOs and many other civil-society groups are battling police in their demonstrations against the World Trade Organisation (WTO) conference in Hong Kong, amidst the glowing neon-light signboards in that bustling mercantile city. It has happened every year, all the way back to the Seattle WTO conference in 1999.
Under what cause are they actually fighting under? Obviously, the demonstrators, from farmers to intellectuals to industrial workings are rallying against further expansion of these global corporate behemoths. However, their voices are diverse and confused; they do not have a common nor united ground for protest, and they more or less represent their parochial constituencies whereby closing up national markets is in their interest.
But even then, university students and professors are up against further corporate globalisation under the mere pretext of opposing further marginalisation of the poor. But most intellectuals’ arguments are shallow and too abstract. There is no real united front in opposing, nor do the vast majority of the world’s poor share their concerns or are even aware of the mass and violent demonstrations in Hong Kong.
Now, is this a mere backlash?
There are many logical reasons to oppose the further expansion of multi-national corporations. They eat up the market share of local producers and distributors, not necessarily increasing employment. They use up a tremendous amount of natural and other resources that could be diverted to local development and poverty alleviation instead of merely for corporate profits. They deny the growth of national cultures in preference to a global, homogenous MTV culture that is prevalent today. They do not encourage labour unions or a proper minimal wage for workers, putting workers at the mercy of these corporations.
However, these points, of which there are many more, are not articulated eloquently not only on the streets of Hong Kong, but also in the ivory towers and the newspaper columns. Instead, we find a medley crew of sometimes contradictory opinions and angry words, and a lot serve to undermine the cause of these anti-globalisation warriors by giving an impression of radicalism and reactionary attitudes, generally negative and thus not very edifying.
Had anger blinded our rational faculty to clearly articulate what is right? Is this confused reactionary attitude making the struggle worse, gaining the enmity of these corporations and people in government?
In this case, the familiarity of McDonald’s, Starbucks etc. does indeed seem to have gained the contempt of many people, especially when they feel that their livelihood and cultural heritage is under threat from the encroaching global homogenisation.
An angry man will not think rationally for an articulate debate. Their first instinct is to react and fight.
That is how bad the so-called globalization has become. It denies an indigenous voice in the corporate scheme of things. Indeed, expect further turmoil when national identities are being challenged at an unprecedented rate.
But let us ensure that even with anger, it doesn’t make us deny the need for rational arguments in the spirit of civil society. Just being angry would not solve many of our problems today. If the intellectuals, the farmers, the workers, the NGOs and many others do not make their case and common voice clearly heard in world forums like the United Nations General Assembly, nobody is going to take them seriously, least of all the multinational corporations.
Thus, even a good cause can get confused with mere anger. Let us all sit back, have a cup of non-Starbucks local homegrown coffee, and start thinking of a broad strategy to fight on behalf of the billions of underprivileged people around the world. |
|
|
| Entering into a brave new era.. |
[Dec. 14th, 2005|01:16 pm] |
In the light of the recent political mood throughout the world, one can observe that the word “globalisation” is gaining currency everywhere. From Japan to the United Kingdom to the Indian sub-continent, it is the current obsession among the political elites in those countries. However, what does “globalisation” actually mean to these men and women standing on their national pedestals?
Being a resident in Japan, I observed that for the political elite here, “globalisation” does not merely mean an exchange of cultures in its original etymological meaning. Sinisterly, “globalisation”, which the elite had committed to in the spirit of “kaikaku” or reform, means these things: privatisation of government bodies including hospitals and universities, encouragement of cut-throat corporate competition and hostile takeovers.
Now, do these things ring a bell with you?
Indeed, if you are vaguely familiar with the vocabulary of political science, they mean one thing: neo-liberalism. Now what is neo-liberalism? It means basically, the abandonment of state control of the economy, in favour of the free market. Broadly speaking, it does not only mean market control of the economy, but of the social, cultural and other sectors of life as well. Or to put it even more simply, it is the state passing control of national life to the free market, which comprises of capitalists, businessmen and economic marauders.
And where do you think this ideology is most prevalent in?
That’s right folks, the United States of America. She is the beacon of freedom in the world. She is the land of the brave. She is where the poor and the destitute are welcome with wide open arms.
She is also the world’s largest possessor of nuclear weapons. She has the largest disparity between the rich and poor in any developed country in the world. With the distinct lack of a national insurance cover and other social safety nets, she is a country where the poor and needy have nothing to fall upon when the going gets tough, for being poor means being lazy means being bad in the United States of America. Too bad, it is a dog eat dog world out there, and you better get your wits going, otherwise nobody’s going to care about you.
Back to Japan, the privatisation of hospitals and universities, and the introduction of American-style corporate culture with the various lawyers, hostile-takeovers and vultures is happening at lightning speed. Even the political sphere is rapidly moving towards the right, with its emphasis on a strong and formal military, its focus on nationalism and a decidedly unilateral foreign policy. Japan is facing a change that had never been this rapid and mind-boggling ever since the Meiji Restoration.
It is a globalisation that is actually Americanisation.
Gone are the bad old days of seniority-based and lifetime employment, close relationships between companies and their distributors, economic development policies for rural areas, a social net for the poor and an almost universal middle class. Say good-bye to the pacifist diplomatic policies of the past. The intellectuals who engineered the current egalitarian economic policies in the 1960`s that were so successful in the past have become somewhat a relic, in the age of cut-throat capitalist competition with no particular affection for the less privileged. Poverty is not an option in the age of neo-liberalism. If you are in need, that is too bad because it is somewhat your own fault. Some neo-liberal economists fret that by creating more billionaires, there will be more jobs and higher income for everyone. What they conveniently forget is that some get much more, and some get much less. The world is not equal, but even thinking of making the world a better place economically, means partisan socialism for some, a sort of taboo. But why should ideology play a more important role than reality? If the communists were accussed of that, how about the neo-liberal economists in Japan right now?
The current egalitarian Japanese society is cracking. With increasing costs of previously affordable government services, inflation will no doubt rise which will be tough on lower-income wage earners. The Koizumi administration’s focus on American-style consumer-based economic growth will threaten to raise the disparity between different economic classes, inviting future social unrest. It is no longer a caring society for people of all classes and backgrounds, for it is not conducive fiscally.
Welcome to the real world, a new age of cowboy global capitalism. Even in egalitarian Japan, reform means globalisation which means Americanisation of the economy and society.
Indeed, Japan now is now literally caught in a tryst with destiny. Should she form policies that are most conducive for her unique culture and society, or blindly ape the cowboy economic advisors that are now predominating the White House?
It is the best of times, it is the worst of times. |
|
|
| The Mad Poet |
[Jul. 31st, 2005|08:09 pm] |
THE MAD POET
By The Marquis
Tears were flowing down Mak Minah’s cheeks as she confided with her good friend Zaipah about the infidelity of her husband. “I’ve been such a faithful wife for all these 20 over years, and look at how he treats me now! He just treats me like garbage”, exclaimed Minah, exasperated at the seeming indifference of the world about her plight.
Thunder roared in a distance over the verdant green hills beyond the padi fields, and it was just beginning to drizzle slightly.
“You should prove that you are his legal wife, so pour scorn on him whenever he goes out for a rendezvous with that slut Sheila. She thinks she is so pretty Look at her, only in her twenties and she already has cellulite!” laughed Zaipah nervously, as if expecting her speech to comfort Minah.
Trouble had been brewing in the village. Minah’s husband, Anuar, has been accused of two-timing his wife as well as not being a true Muslim, with alleged vices of gambling, womanizing and drinking. What more, Anuar wasn’t inclined to speak much about anything, let alone defend himself verbally against the villagers’ accusations. Such silence definitely bred more suspicion, and talks of throwing him out of the village to protect Minah’s dignity was looming. Tension was felt everywhere, and even the cows and the goats weren’t themselves for these past few months, frequently throwing tantrums and destroying crops and trees. The village ustaz and the mosque committee were naturally, worried about the situation. “This cannot continue, as it would spoil our village’s good name,” said one of them. “We have to use all of strength and all our might to help poor Minah, as women’s rights are enshrined in our religion,” commented the ustaz with a grand flowing white beard and a turban, a symbol of deep religious knowledge, having studied at the prestigious Al-Azhar University. The mosque committee members agreed in unison, all nodding their turbaned and alim heads.
Perhaps Anuar should be distressed over such recent developments. Perhaps Anuar should repent for his sins and be amiable to his long-suffering wife. But lo and behold! Anuar was still absconded in his private study, off-limits even to his own wife and children, still attempting on a world-class novel that seemed futile. Writing is his passion, his blood, being a far descendant of the acclaimed Munsyi Abdullah, the Malay scribe who followed Raffles around the Nusantara. He has such rich imagination and such a vivid world of his own creation in his head, that there would be a permanent dazed look on his face, impervious to distractions in the real world, even by attempts of his wife to make love with him. As such, an outsider would see him as being distant, which was what his wife was feeling now. And worse, Anuar got acquainted with Sheila, a journalist from the city, who had interviewed him on some of his short stories published in local literary magazines. She wasn’t attractive in a physical and conventional sense, being slightly portly, with a round bespectacled face and a sullen look on her face. But then, something between them clicked, both minds and souls merged, as Sheila began meeting him more and more to find out about his“make-believe world” in his mind, a constant ilham flowing like a river that never runs dry, permanently seeking to understand the individual’s heart and thought. Even after Minah became suspicious and banned her from coming to their house, she would still have clandestine meetings with Anuar under the banana grove by the river bank, as a student seeking the teacher’s knowledge, or a lover seeking thrill and pleasure from her partner.
Once again, Anuar was in his make-believe world in his head, reminiscing of his childhood days during the Japanese occupation, of how he ate tapioca and boiled snakes, and how girls had to remove their tudung and smear mud on their faces to avoid rape by the Japanese soldiers. Of when he was a frequent winner of literary prizes during his school days, whereby the school would give him the honour of penning poems for specials events like Teacher’s Day.
In actual fact, Anuar was born after the war and he never went to school, let alone win prizes, though he was self-educated and intellectual in his own ways. Sheila didn’t mind. Sheila was mesmerized under the shade of the banana grove, breathing slower so as not to be detected by“virtue” teams sent out by the mosque committee to catch sinners like Anuar and herself. “You have such a wonderful source of inspiration for your writings, Anuar. I would certainly love to have your talent,” she said.
“Look at this banana tree. You think it’s only a tree created by God to provide food and material? I would say it’s a phallic symbol, to remind us of our sacred duty to procreate and seek pleasure.” Anuar was again in a dreamy state, speaking of the river that flowed with the blood of martyrs who have died seeking sacred pleasure, of the warmth of a woman’s bosom. Anuar, clearly, had erotic tendencies, and Sheila lapped it all up while penning her own thoughts in a little note-book. “The world is a stage and all men and women but actors,” quoting his favourite Shakespeare verse. “I don’t give two cents for what the Uztaz and the villagers think. I’m my own man and I’m entitled to seek and pursue my destiny.”
Now Anuar was in an almost delirious state, swaying his head around and around to give the effect of a vivid thought, and Sheila was amazed by his mental liberation (or mental incarceration, depends on who is talking).
“Look, I swear that Anuar has done nothing wrong with that Sheila, they only talk and nothing else,” pleaded Haji Khamis, Anuar’s uncle who didn’t a bit like nor admired him, but felt sympathy as his nephew was fast becoming an outcast in the village, and Anuar himself wasn’t a bit concerned about this. “You all know how queer of a man Anuar is, always talking to himself, likening himself to the great Sufis of the past who wanted to be near to God. Yes, he had strayed from the true ways of the religion, but don’t stone him just because he is no doubt, a little gila,” said Haji Khamis with serious concern in the big meeting with the Uztaz and the mosque committee, combined with the village head and the rest of the villagers. Minah was looking glum and pursed her lips. This was the way for a woman here, keeping quiet while the men had important things to say. Looking demure was a virtue, bearing in mind that she is the victim here.
“Brother, Anuar has gone too far! You know that our religion, that there cannot be close proximity between the two sexes, as it would constitute khalwat. It doesn’t matter what the intention is. I won’t believe whatever your dastardly nephew says, about wandering the clouds in his dreams with Sheila to rediscover her hidden ilham within. It sounds like some sexual fantasy!”, and an uproar of laughter broke out among the men. “You think it’s merely intellectual? I can bet there is something fishy going on ‘under there’!” laughed one villager so hard until his face almost went blue.
There was a tacit understanding that Anuar had already become gila-isin. “Gila-isin” is a term used by the local Malays to connote someone of great mind who has gone mad after overextending his mind, or having believed in something too much. Anuar’s pot had already been broken, and it was alright if the contents were spluttered to the ground, but not when it starts spraying onto others, thereby sullying their good name.
Anuar was furiously writing yet another letter to Sheila his private study, penning surrealistic poems and portions of some of his nihilistic stories that were to be sent to the literary magazines. Some religious people term his literary work blasphemous, but he took it all in his stride. He believed in self-flagellation, whereby he would purposely injure himself, physically, mentally and emotionally, so that he could conjure up sadomasochistic fantasies which he believed constitutes the best inspiration for his writing. When he was in his “own world”, the real world didn’t matter anymore, not even dinner prepared by Mak Minah. It is of no surprise that their relationship had become dead, if not non-existent, and she existed only as a mundane distraction, a prop like a vase or a chair for his own ilham. Yet, he couldn’t live without Minah as well, for you can’t do away the mundane when you go into the divine. You have to sit on a chair to write.
He needed someone to look after him, to cook for him, to take care of his home and his family. No doubt he loved his wife very much, or so he thought, so he couldn’t why was his wife now so against him. Nor could he understood the rants of the villagers and the religious people. Was he, a simple man seeking only the Divine, worthy of such contempt? His sparse white hair and grey goatee seemed to glisten under the dim afternoon light that shone through his window, as if illuminating his thoughts.
Sheila asked him one day. “Why do you have to withdraw from this world to seek enlightenment? Many thinkers are entrenched in this mundane world, and their ideas have contributed to the development of the people’s intellect. But what kind of contribution would you strange thoughts be?” she swaggered under her journalist’s confidence and a sharp eye for wit and nuance. It was a trick question, no doubt, as it would be useful for her next article on Anuar, the local poet, writer and eccentric intellectual. Anuar, with the words “what would your contribution be?” inured into his soul, screamed,
“Cliffs, mountains, forests! Cliffs, mountains, forests! What are the contributions of these primal forces to the people? They don’t give rice to them as the lowlands do. They are full of spirits and ghosts, and they are strange and scary. But where would we be without them? Where would our rivers and springs come from? Where would we get our wood and attap to build our houses?” He suddenly crept up to a very calm Sheila and whispered in her ear. “I am the Inspiration, without me this world would cease to exist.”
He was actually referring his own make-believe “world” in his mind. In the mundane world, he was a quiet, contemplative and gentle soul, but in his own world he was a sexual pervert, foul-mouthed and violent, and extremely talkative. Unfortunately, most people would not have seen his “other” traits, for they existed only to serve himself. Sheila held his hand and looked him in the eye. “Listen Anuar, you are a great mind, but your villagers despise you. You wife hates you and wants divorce, and now people are saying things about us. They don’t trust us at all, no matter how honest we are in our lives, our thoughts and our actions. When we say, we do. We don’t hide anything. At least when you say that you view sexual pleasure as sacred, you seek it with all your heart. You are not inhibited by any norms or customs. But then, we don’t live in fantasy, we live in the real world. I would say to you, go back to your wife, go back to your village, go back to your religious leaders. They need you and love you, but because you have been away for so long, people have given you up for dead. A man isn’t really dead until he is forgotten, Anuar. Would you like to be forgotten?” She then kept quiet, and Anuar looked on warily. What? Return to that sinful and evil world? That would be a waste of my time traveling this far, and to think of turning back! Oh! And so thought Anuar.
Sheila left him that evening, and went back to her city and to her real world, never to visit Anuar or his village again. Soon, irreverent talk about his perceived infidelity and his sinfulness died down. Minah started talking to him again, and the Ustaz would smile at Anuar whenever he passed by him. Even the goats and cows in the village were back to their usual selves again, and their aggression stopped. It seemed that Sheila’s advice to Anuar had been a wise one, for sometimes, traveling too far into one’s own mind could become futile and self-destructive.
It would be a perilous journey for Anuar back to the mundane world. Anuar grew more and more quiet, not talking to anyone, not even when his wife asked him to come down for dinner.
Anuar didn’t survive his journey home. His lifeless body was found by his shocked and horrified wife in his private study, with his wrist slit, slumped onto his desk, almost like his usual position. The Ustaz, the mosque committee members and all the villagers were shocked too, for someone who has existed as prop, like a vase or a chair, in their mundane world was gone, like a writer without a chair now. Anuar’s right hand was still holding a pen onto the words which he had written with his last breath:
“Forest, cliffs are what I see,
Ghosts and spirits constantly following me,
And behold I saw a glorious ray and a monstrous cloud,
That took me away from the mundane crowds”
- fin - |
|
|
| To die or not to die, that is the question... |
[Jul. 20th, 2005|09:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
Do they
really know what they want?
On the other hand, our dear Pak Lah wants "Towering Malays", and his faithful deputy, "Melayu Glokal". And now, another warlord in Umno wants the NEP reintroduced.
It's like me wanting to eat both char koay teow and curry mee at the same time, but can't decide. In the end, I might ask the auntie or uncle to give me a little of both in different bowls.
I still rasa tak sedap after that, so I order another plate of char koay teow.
But then, even after a plate, and with indigestion coming, I am still not satisfied, so I order yet another bowl of curry mee.
With all the oil and lemak santan swimming in my bowels, the inevitable result of it may be rather obvious. Just look at the toilet bowl after the grumblings in my stomach. Before flushing.
That's where Malaysia is heading.
Mereka cakap tak serupa bikin saja. |
|
|
| A trans-Causeway bloggers' meet? |
[Jun. 20th, 2005|08:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ken Hirai - Hitomi wo tojite | ] |
All hail Malaysian blogosphere !!
Anyhow, the famed Peter Tan has some wise words to say about the current blog situation.
“Blogging responsibly is very important, because what you write is out there for the whole world to see,” Tan explains. “When a blog offends people or does something immoral, it will put the entire blogging community in a bad light. One should always remember that there is a line to be drawn, and a blogger should always abide by the laws that govern his country. "
and then...
" “A good blog should also benefit other people, and give people something to think about,”
Well of course some bloggers out there would be opposed to such an idea vehemently. Our little "Falling Snow" said before that she doesn't write chim (intellectual) stuff, and treats her blog as a personal diary.
But when someone posts nude photos of themselves on their blog, it might be going a tad too far then. Well I do think that blogs are fundamentally different from mere personal diaries. After all, a blog is where you wash dirty linen in public. But at least be selective of WHICH dirty linen you want to wash. :D
Nude photos are still ok with me. What I cannot tahan are those posts that smack of bigotry, racism and hatred. Though cliche, we all know that those who wield the pen (or the keyboard) holds the power. For good, or for evil.
Anyone ever wondered why we have censorship laws for newspapers and TV programmes in the first place?
Actually, wouldn't it be great to have a Malaysian-Singaporean bloggers' meet sometime soon? Wonder whether there had been one though. It would be smashing to have gahmen-bashing Singaporeans and Singaporean-bashing Malaysians (kidding :P) meeting up for mamak or something.
Don't bother about me. I'm not in Malaysia or Singapore at the moment. :( |
|
|
| Waaa!!! |
[Jun. 20th, 2005|12:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Boyz II Men - On Bended Knee | ] |
Oh dear.
Not another incoming emotional rollercoaster ride. :( |
|
|
| Rajan?! |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|01:43 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | complacent | ] |
Can't believe that prick is currently one of the reigning kings of Malaysian blogsphere.
I find his rantings (or rather irrational musings) so childish and ill-informed I couldn't even be bothered to write a comment. I heard he's young, so maybe he should get out from his computer once in a while to see the bigger world. It isn't as black and white as you think, you know.
Maybe that's why it's so damn popular. Not many have the guts to post controversial but rather silly and trouble-stirring rants on the web. (^_^). But anyhow, count me as an occational reader. Though it's silly, as least he has lampar (balls).
And congratulations to Jeff Ooi for winning the Freedom Blog Awards!! |
|
|
| Blah.. |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|01:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | PFS Boys - Lanciao Kua | ] |
Time for some spring cleaning.
As a matter of fact, the entire blahdy world needs to wake up a little.
Right now, it's a little limp, baby.
Viagra for the soul? |
|
|
| Like a Van Gogh canvas... |
[Jun. 16th, 2005|12:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Orange Range - 花 | ] |
Life bursts forth like a field of flowers in full bloom.
Or a dark sky marred by distant lighting and thunder.
I feel nothing though. |
|
|
| What a beautiful day... |
[Jun. 10th, 2005|02:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Radiohead - 1+2=5 | ] |
It's the begining of the end.
It's a new age.
Without fucking pseudo-intellectualism nor hypocritical piety.
Let's all herald what we call "reality".
Hip hip hooray!! |
|
|
| My own kingdom |
[Jun. 10th, 2005|01:53 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Matsuken Samba 2 | ] |
A conflict between light and darkness
in theoretical terms, at least
comes as a uniform wave of gray.
Needless to say.
The dilemma of a lifetime. |
|
|
| I'm oh-so-passionate.. |
[Jun. 8th, 2005|03:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | L'Arc En Ciel - Ready, Steady, Go! | ] |
Torrential rain of enlightenment.
Massive waves of realism.
Keeps my life excited
and my worldview a little muddled.
Passion is indeed without wisdom. |
|
|
| Summer chill |
[Jun. 7th, 2005|12:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nusrat Ali Fateh Khan | ] |
Life recently is like a sunny day. Sometimes it`s so sunny that it burns my ass.
Blame the languidity on this. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
themarquis's journal